Moon&NewYorkCity

God loves you.

2010-05-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

Please stop committing what you are committing right now currently.
You are a beloved child of God. Dont deprive yourself of this special status you have in Him..

Do you remember the days when you shared w me that God is so so good & you are so so touched by Him?

Come back & let go what you are doing now....God loves you.

A post I dedicate to you...

2010-05-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

To be frank.. I am disappointed.
I am disappointed with what I see...what I hear...
It pains me to know the truth...

cliche it is, to hear that "oftenly, but true enough...truth hurts."

It's sad because I care, tts why it hurts.

If i dont give a shit to it...why should I feel hurt?
I wonder if you could understand the reason behind...

Come back & dont go so far anymore...
A friend u always will be.

I was touched when I c my student's Blog on me....

2009-12-24T04:55:00.001-08:00

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Not racist..I think all gods are good, All gods meant well.

~A Messenger~

A world of solitude
Where I go
What I do
No one cares

Dark like the jetty night sky
There's a path
A path we all must take
A wide path
that seem narrower
as it goes further
I look around
Nothing but pitch black
with the intimidating path in front of me
I took a step
one at a time
I walk this path
Alone.

Until there came a messenger
She showed Love and care
Blessed and Touched
There was something I
can actually grab onto
to pour and share
all the sorrow
all the pain
Brightening my meaningless life

She said
" The best way to conquer and enemy,
is with the weapon of Love. "
"May God Bless you.His Love,Faith,Hope
And Jia You in everything that happen in your life!"
Endless tears dripped one by one
as it repeatedly played in my mind
Probably
A messenger from God

You touch things not by your hand,
But by your
Heart

If you're reading this, I just wanna say thank you.
You touched my heart and I will Never forget It
♥♥♥

I LOVE THIS SONG!! :)

2009-07-25T09:56:00.001-07:00

I miss you....

2009-07-09T09:59:00.001-07:00

Elite Manager - Walton International

2009-05-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Ong Yan Ying (Faith)
Elite Manager 2008, Landbanking

Walton International Group (S) Pte Ltd
9 Raffles Place #35-01/02
Republic Plaza 1
Singapore 048619

Hp: (65) 97545658
Fx: (65) 6535 4462
yanying.ong@waltoninternational.com.sg
http://www.linkedin.com/in/yanying

www.waltoninternational.com

"This is then how we know that we belong to the truth & how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts & He knows everything."
"Because Where your heart is, there your treasures will be also"

2009-05-06T18:24:00.001-07:00

The road that is less travelled is often the narrow, dangerous, dark, winding....
Unless, the sceneries are worth the "risk", thus the travellers will take a step of faith & calcualted risk to explore upon.
Like the Great Ocean Road. Was it a less travelled road? Yes and No.
Compared to Interstate 10 & 35, of cos it is WAY lesser.
But to those who loves the Apostles 12 scene, this is definitely a high proportionally travelled road.

Sometimes, Life is so interesting. We are always caught in between, at different situations.
Sometimes, the heart & the mind thinks & feels alike. Beat with the same heartbeat.
Sometimes, the heart wants to stray away to an unexplored journey while the mind insisted on going on the journey that seems well caluclated & risk free.
Rarely are the times, when the travellers with different opinions caome to a common consenus immediately.

Not that it wont be possible, once again, its the less travelled road.

Should you follow your heart or should you follow your mind?

King James Bible
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Bible in Basic English
But keep yourself from those desires of the flesh which are strong when the body is young, and go after righteousness, faith, love, peace, with those whose prayers go up to the Lord from a clean heart.

There is this journey right now, which is simple yet complex. I know the answer yet I do not know the answer.
I know what i want, yet I do not know what i want.

2009-05-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

My heart hurts very much :'(
It hurts me so much that I wish the world can stop & I can turn back the hands of time.

YY cant make a decision. Hates to make a decision.

2009-04-23T07:59:00.001-07:00

Been such a long time since I last blog...
Many things happen lately.

So much so, that i have no idea what to blog about. Where to start as well.

Many things have happened, it makes me think about this big word LIFE. Makes me grown....makes me tear a lot...makes me smile a lot....makes me fearful & doubtful about.

Can i have the best of world? Hate to say, its impossible.

2009-02-21T00:33:00.001-08:00

2009/02/20

Everybody Surrenders to Something
by Rick Warren

Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God, but laid aside his mighty power and glory, taking the disguise of a slave and becoming like men. Philippians 2:6-7 (LB)

*** *** *** ***

Everybody surrenders to something or someone in life.If not to God, you’ll surrender to popular opinion, to money, to resentment or fear, or to your own pride, lust, and ego.

We were designed to worship something, and when we fail to worship God, we create gods (idols) to surrender ourselves to. E. Stanley Jones said, “If you don’t surrender to Christ, you surrender to chaos.” You’re free to choose what you surrender to, but you’re not free from the consequences of that choice: “So give yourselves completely to God” (James 4:7 NCV).

Surrender is not the best way to live; it is the only way to live. Nothing else works.All other approaches lead to frustration, disappointment, and self-destruction.

The King James Version of Romans 12:1 calls surrender“your reasonable service.” The Contemporary English Version translates it: “the most sensible way to serve God.”

Surrendering your life is not a foolish emotional impulse but a rational, intelligent act, the most responsible and sensible thing you can do with your life.Your wisest moments will be those when you say yes to God: “So we make it our goal to please him …” (2 Corinthians 5:9 NIV).

Sometimes it takes years, but eventually you discover the greatest hindrance to God’s blessing in your life is not others, it is yourself – your self will, stubborn pride, and personal ambition.You cannot fulfill God’s purposes for your life while focusing on your own plans. If God is going to do his deepest work in you, it will begin with this.

So give it all to God: your past regrets; your present problems; your future ambitions; your fears, dreams, weaknesses, habits, hurts, and hang-ups. Put Christ in the driver’s seat of your life and take your hands off the steering wheel. Don’t be afraid; nothing under his control can ever be out of control.

Mastered by Christ, you can handle anything: “I am ready for anything and equal to anything through him who infuses inner strength into me. I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency” (Philippians 4:13 AMP).

You may worry, “What if I stumble or relapse?”

If? You will stumble in pleasing God! No one can live a perfectly surrendered life except Jesus.

But God has provided for the inevitability of your sin: “If you do sin, there is someone to plead for you before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who pleases God completely” (1 John 2:1 LB).

2009-02-21T00:14:00.000-08:00

Lord..I am worried, I am disappointed, I am feeling insecurity & I am stressed...
I have no peace.
I have no joy.
I have no contention.

Truly, the Moon has lost sight of the Sun....and where is the navigation?
The farmer sowed & yet didnt see his harvest any much nearer...
He kneels down & plead & wish the crops can be ready for meal...

BUT all seems far as dreams.

He looks across his peddy field & envy those who still have basic meals.

Lord, I know I have ran away far...I know You know what I have done.
I know You know my going through circumstances now.
And I wish, you can open the doors of heaven for blessings me upon.

I have no idea why is things happening the way they are happening now...
And I have NO HOPE.
No hope for the future, and no zeal for the present.

Lord. Why cant thgs be perfect according to the desires of my heart?

I know all the answers in my heart - the model 10yr series answer.
But i have no confidence to continue to put trust in them.

I am weak...

2009-02-14T22:02:00.001-08:00

you have made me fallen deep.
And I wonder where is the turn back...

2009-02-02T02:20:00.001-08:00

Can I turn back the hands of time & re-do everything once again?!?!?!?!!?!?

This Heart needs to get out for a while.

2009-01-28T05:04:00.000-08:00

When can I find the courage to tell you how I feel?

2009-01-26T21:05:00.000-08:00

like. love. fallen.

2009 CNY Day 1

2009-01-25T23:57:00.000-08:00

2009 will be a very interesting year for Sapphire.
A year for my personal life in term of relationship, for my work in Walton, for my relationship with my family, for my assistance in my brother's career...etc...

Many beautiful things have happened to me in year 2008. Very appreciative & contented with all the blessings that I have received....
And I am glad that this year 2009 has somehow allow some of the beautiful things to reach to another different platform.

And now is CNY day 1.
Very tired & sleepy :(
Alone in a aircon room, wanna sleep...but i am CONTROLLING!!
Cos Sapphire dont wanna mess up my hair... ;(

I am sleeppyyyy, think I might be having headache soonzzz :(

BleaH~!

And ya...i visited my ah-ma today..i very sad, nearly cried. sigh....just pain my heart...my spirit is willing but my heart is weak!

Lord...help me & grant me the desires of my heart...bless those whom I love...

2009-01-23T09:58:00.000-08:00

Lord...I am stressed.
I really am very very stressed.
Jesus, I am really really...disappointed. Sigh. Stressed.
Really very stress. :(

I want 5 cars too.

2009-01-20T00:19:00.000-08:00

I just met my client at Conrad the terrace instead...sigh. what a successful man.
37yrs old. 2 condo + 2 landed.
flying from korea to Europe to philippines to vietnam to japan to msia to dubai to saudi etc...

5 cars....BMW, Porsche, Lexus, Toyota MPV & a Ferrari...
sigh.

anyway, he is a nice guy, i will prob catch up with him in June 2009 this year to present to him...cos he very very busy...

he is a very famous architect...designed the home of Mr. LKY...Mr. KLB...Mr. Tony ....

Sigh. i love meeting such successful ppl & i always ended up feeling empty after tt.

who can i tok to? :(

2009-01-19T22:09:00.000-08:00

People come and People go.
I am currently sitting at conrad hotel, oscar's cafe...waiting for this propsect to turn up.
Not going to present, going to catch up & do a little teaser & see what is to come.

This 2009. So much to feel & nothing to say. Tt's really sad.
Things happened & it frustrated me.
I wished I can easily brush them aside & treat them more lightly.
But guess, being me, the real me. It just cant be done.
I cant pretend as if nothing happen..haha. Sigh.

Yday, a friend supposed to come to my house for dinner. 5mins later, she gotta go...
she felt she wasnt ready to get married. And she cant back up, cos she felt she will disappoint everyone...her boyfrd and his parents too....
And I asked her if you love him? She wasnt sure, but eventually she did kind of say yes.
And she says tt she is getting so comfortable with him tt he just means to be a routine to her already...how sad.

like that day when i was pondering...would you rather marry someone whom you can live with?
or marry someone whom you cant live without?

of cos, my answer will be the latter. I rather marry someone whom i cant live without...jus like what i always think. It is more blessed for me to love the special someone more, than for the special someone to love me more.

Worse still is when you love the special one & yet there is no reciprocation.
Worst still like what one of my frd mentioned, that it is painful when you love someone whom you cant live without & yet you cant be together with that special someone.

I hate it when i always fall. I hate it when i always end up as the one suffering.

2009-01-19T06:56:00.001-08:00

Lord, take away the pain....grant me comfort.

2009-01-19T06:55:00.000-08:00

wisdom tooth is killing me....sigh.
why? i hate pain.

Love is patient & Love is kind. Love does not envy.

2009-01-18T07:26:00.000-08:00

Love is never tired of waiting. Love is kind. Love has no envy.
Love has no high opinion of itself, Love has no pride.
Love's way are ever fair, it takes no thought for itself, it is not quickly made angry, it takes no account of evil.
It takes no pleasure in wrongdoing, but has joy in what is true.
Love has the power of undergoing all things, having faith in all things, hoping all things.

2009-01-18T07:09:00.000-08:00

It hurts & i am dying.
I think i am most prob PMS-ing soon, must be, for this swinging mood once agin.

The downfall comes when lack of self control.
Tts the reason when i am always afraid & fearful of.

You never know the pain until you feel it. All of a sudden.
Until when the tears began to roll down & you realise that "hmmm, i think it hurts. Ouch."

And I am listening to 88.3FM online streaming now.
The emotional chinese songs being played only increase the emotion within.
I must be a sadist. Yes, I am. Deserved to be executed.

UNtil now...i have all the english songs on 88.3FM that i feel like offing the online streaming! Haha.

The tears have dried & I have moved on.
Or have I not?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Would I take a U-Turn if given a chance? Would I wish I can turn back the hands of time?

Moon and the New York City.
I think maybe I need to disappear away from the universe.

So many things that need to be done. Not i want them to be done.
I need to do them. Sigh. And i hate it.

I cant follow my mood.
I cant do what I want to do.
I gotta do what I need to do.

What i want to do, i cant do.
Time to be Missing in Action

Argh, i cant post!

2009-01-18T03:22:00.001-08:00

testing tesing....is this blog spoilt liaos? how come never blog any entry :)

I cried....

2009-01-14T18:19:00.001-08:00

Jehovah Jeroh

2009-01-14T17:51:00.000-08:00

Sapphire is getting more and more contented lately.

Not that Sapphire is having more and more.
But Sapphire is learning to take things at its own strides :)
Sapphire is learning to let go & let God.

And Sapphire is choosing to love. To love out of her comfort zone.
And Sapphire is choosing to stop comparing. To be led by the Holy Spirit.
And Sapphire is choosing to live by her faith. To know within that God will grant her Peace.

though lately, Sapphire feels like crying...and feels like being alone...but Sapphire aint going to fall into depression!

SApphire will survive & stand up strong, for JESUS is my Saviour, my Jehovah Jerih, You are my Healer...You are More than ENUFF.

Jehovah Jireh My Provider
You are more than enough for me
Jehovah Raepha You're my healer
By your stripes I've been set free
Jehovah Shammah You are with me
To Supply All My Needs
You are more than enough
More than enough
You are more than enough for me

excessively excess.

2009-01-06T01:20:00.000-08:00

Been having mood swing.
Hot and Cold.

Too much & excessive?
How much is too much?
Will too much pull you or push you?

Will too much still cause linger?
Will too little stir absence of the fonder heart?

How do you tell? Physchological?

How to know when to do what?
Many things clashes & how to determine the action is the right one?

Confused. Sapphire is Confused. very. absolutely. utterly.
I have no eye-deer.

I trust God for His 2009 Providence.

2009-01-03T04:08:00.000-08:00

With All I am, I commit again....to You Jesus.

M & M...

2009-01-03T04:07:00.001-08:00

And i Thanked God.

3 consecutive days of outing with the same person.

2009-01-03T03:32:00.000-08:00

it has been a busy past 3 days. With a bad headache today too :(

On New Year Day, FINALLY Managed to convince someone to accompany me to somewhere, & was impressed with her performance too. Then went for a nice fishhead steamboat dinner.
Next day, went to office to do some urgent reservation for client, luckily...he was queued about 9units. After that went to watch Australia with a friend! Not too bad, 3hrs. Quite Funny. Definitely not the BEST movie I have watched. But ok la! Except...it was so cold...and I had a bad stomachache :( After which, went to makan a simple & healthy dinner.
Today, AGAIN, that somebody whom I managed to convince, actually jio me to accompany her to THAT PLACE again...HAHA. Hmm...is she addicted already?? But it was once again a good O'session! AND i saw Waihan after soooo long. Haha. Still as zai, still as fit, still as cheerful looking.

I have been thinking quite a lot about work lately. About this exciting 2009.
A year of Peace.

I am looking very forward to This monday, when i will be OFFICIALLY starting work after a slack 2mths of Nov & Dec 2008 :)
But once again, I am NOT going to work like a bull.
Sapphire's resolution is to work hard, work smart. Still having time to play, to have fun, to serve in church, to spend time with my loved ones around....to spend time with God.

And with that. I know excatly just as Brenda has assured me. That God WILL PROVIDE. That God will GIVE ME ABUNDANCE!

But...once again, I am confused with my emotions. Somehow, I have stopped using my heart to feel....and starting to use my mind to think.

So sad, how sad.

And Sometimes i wish, ppl can be more proactive to initiate. While i can have the luxury to take the passive step....to reciprocate or not to...

HMMM. Human are so complex, so interesting.

what a painful head i have on 1st Jan 2009

2008-12-31T17:52:00.000-08:00

not good to sleep too much.
ESP not good to sleep with a wet hair.

I regretted not listening to Mama..
Now SApphire is having a bad headache :(

i love this pic.

2008-12-30T04:05:00.000-08:00

do you?

And it tells me so.

2008-12-30T03:57:00.000-08:00

i have been feeling so ill disciplined lately.
Esp bcos of the Muar trip that break my usual cycle.

Sapphire is sad. sad & sad. very sad.

Now, i have to re-start my entire cycle...and i suspect...it will be tml? thurs? or fri?
SIGH.

Jan 2009 is here already...i only left with like 1 week?
How to do it!?!?!
Not even a miracle has do it for me.

Lord, I am so disgusted & disappointed with myself. Utterly.

Been getting much closer to this particular frd of mine.
Its scary sometimes, but yet, i really do appreciate this very interesting relationship which both party has been proactively & willing sow to bloom.

But the only scary thing is when both party gets too rooted, engaged and attached to each other's presence, that wouldnt be helpful.

Just a thought today...about this word security.
It is ironic that a short, fat & I-Am-Nobody woman can be MORE secured & beautiful than a tall, slim & having friends around woman.
In fact, the least secured ppl are usually those who strives to be rich, strives to be slim, strives to achieve & perform, strives to be popular, strives to be the limelight, strives to be loved etc...
How sad :(
Security comes from within. That nothing is able to add more to it, nothing is able to take it away....
That is when you truly know "your value", "your self worth" and your "worthiness".
Once you know it, the battle stops, and you simply enjoy what you like, who you are & how you see your life to be...

And though i know you are not reading, but you really do mean a lot to me.
And i really really appreciate you a lot a lot. The things you have done, the words you have done etc. I see it & I do appreciate it.
And though many times, my words doesnt show it to be. But i do.
And i do hope your gut feel tells you so too.

My taiwan photos....in dec 12-16th 2008

2008-12-19T05:08:00.000-08:00

i miss you so.

2008-12-17T19:43:00.001-08:00

It has been reali reali long since I last blog.
Not that i do not enjoy blogging.

But i am simply lost of words.

i am lost.

with so much in my mind, so much feeling in my heart, so much confusion & disorderly order in me, that everything seems so hard to be put down word by word.

Lord, i need some rest.
too much activities going on.
parties, retreat camp, holidays, bdays, celebrations etc.

i need to spend some time alone to reconcile & consolidate the things for 2008 and the things for 2009.

so many things have happen this 2008, so much miracles & good things, tat i wan to spend some time to sit down & recall....

i have so much to say to someone.
but yet, i do not know where to start, how to start.
and perhaps, who to say too?

this void needs to be filled.
this disorder needs to be rearranged.
this vagueness needs to be clarified.
this insecurity needs to be secured.
this heart needs to be loved. needs to love too.

anyway, been feeling reali lethargic lately esp when i back from Taiwan.
sleeeppppp is never enuff.
and i am so tired that i cant sleep.
this is sad.
this is bad.

sigh.

MIXED SIGNALS

2008-12-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

i read this somewhere from a blog....and though that it was very very interesting....

"I have know this guy for a while. We are definitely not strangers, and have flirted a bit in the past with eye contact, "accidental" touching. Sometimes, though,he can be very shy around me even though heis very outgoing with everyone else. Well, I saw him recently standing near me and talking to a guyfriend of his and I calledhis name.He looked up and froze"Hi",he said deer in headlights."How are you?" I said, a bit taken aback by his reaction. Still frozen to the spot and not making any move to apprach me he says "Fine".Now, I was starting to feel uncomfortable ."How is school?" I ask in one last despearteattempt at having a normal converstion. "Good",he stammers. I felt so stupid I jsut walked away. Someof my friends and I thought maybe Ijust make him nervous and I should do somethingto break the ice so I sent him an email asking him about a homeowork assignment and well.....that was 3 days ago and he has not replied. Other than the fact that this is so rude...why is he behaving like this all of a sudden to me? Can anyone out there help me figure this out b/c nowI feel really embarrassed. Thanks!"

"Hi ladeedah,
First of all, I think its a small problem becoz from your description of him, he is very comfortable with his other pals but nervous in front of you. Basically, if I'm not wrong, he's a shy guy, but only in front of someone he has special feelings for. Most guys do feel that way in front of someone he likes, the fact that he showed little reaction when you talked to him the other day is perhaps becoz he was seized by one of his very shy days, plus his fren was around him and he felt extra pressure and juz stood frozen in time, not knowing wat to do. Its not that he is trying to embarrass you, thats the last thing he wants to do to someone he likes, or even loves. Hence, its rather reasonable to conclude tat he felt embarrased by what he did to you the other time and may be thinking to himself that he blew it. Shy guys tend to pessimist, so its no wonder that he didn't respond to your email. Right now, I guess the best way is to talk to him or email him again telling him how you feel. Though its an awkard situation right now, but there are only two ways out. If you dun think you like him enough after this incident, forget about him and find new targets. If now, which I probably think you would like to try is to talk to him, get answers from him and clear up this ambiguous situation. Its the best way to get the true picture though it may not be the most protective way. its up to you or him now, hopefully my suggestions works and gd luck to you, any gd news pls inform us, ok, we would like to share the joy with you."

2008-12-09T05:37:00.000-08:00

2008-12-07T21:28:00.000-08:00

aiyo, i am confused again.

This heart that is disturbed.

2008-11-28T22:47:00.000-08:00

So long since I last blog, last blog abt my life.
Not then i was very busy. But i refuse to blog about my private life.
Too much, too personal to put them down into words.

Perhaps, it deflicts the purpose of having an online journal, when you are so afraid to put them down....might as well go back to the traditional way of writing. So that onli I know. And of cos...God knows too..

Just to update, finally, I have achieved my 2008 1st target: to be in the Elite Club.
God has blessed me with much this year. I am confident to declare that watever I have till today all comes from God - Jesus. Nothing that I can boast about that is about me.
And even though I have achieved my goal, I still pray that God will continue to lead the path for me...continue to multiply my 5loaves & 2fishes.
Continue to prosper me & open doors of opportunities for me.

I have become closer a few of my colleagues, though not from my divison, but from other's division.
But i am still glad. They are lovely ppl to be with.

If only i can dont work, jus spend everyday to be with ppl that I love to hang out with....
but it's so selfish of me everytime when i tot of this....that i am simply so self centered.
Where is the kingdom? Where is God? inside my heart? in my mind?
I am so fallen short of, so so fallen short of...

Sharon said something to me that day on the MRT, i nearly cried.
Once again, she highlighted my difficulty in establishing relationships.
Difficult to trust...to be transparent, to be open, to be vulnerable...
And i onli will do that, if I can tie a string to the person...
how sad & how fearful I am...when she used that analogy that it shocked me..

And Tian-Xin shared something very personal with me tt evening at Kovan HK Cafe...that it has been lingering in my tots too.
I wasnt shocked with the fact/truth, cos i had a gut feel too abt it. Jus that i refused to face it & been avoiding it.

Most importantly, I am very fearful. That i have fall for the wrong love.
Fall for the wrong one, whom i cant fall for.
When it's consuming me so much, then i seem to lose myself once again.
When my whole day thinking about was you, when it should be God.
When i feel weird, as somehow you came into my life & then leave me behind dangling there.
But i also reckon that it wasnt your fault.
Cos it was only on my side, that i allow me to feel that way.
Perhaps i didnt guard my heart enuff.
Perhaps i am just too weak.
Perhaps....
And guiltily, i wish there could be something happening. Even if its wrong.
I wish someday soon, you will be very proactively telling me how you felt towards me.
And i wish, it could be a mutual feel.

BUT OF COS, i also cant. Bcos of the very very simple fact that I wouldnt want to sin....

It's tough.
When I cant love the way i want to love.
And when i have to love the way that i need and have to love.

sigh.

Continue

2008-11-25T08:09:00.000-08:00

Walton's Journey - RSVP with me today :)

2008-11-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

Finally after 29yrs worldwide & 12yrs in Spore as a ASIA headquarters, Walton has taken a BIG LEAP! :)

We have invested $0.5million in educating the public further on land banking this coming November 2008!!

Venue: Suntec Convention Hall
Date: 22nd Nov (SAT), 25th NOv (TUES) or 26th (WED)
Time: 10am to 8pm, hourly session for SAT; 12noon - 8pm, hourly session for TUES & WED
Presenters: Expertise from Walton in US
Food: AWwww...alot alot!
Cost: Complimentary for those RSVP guests
Dress Code: Smart Casual

Walton International Group named this upcoming exciting & spectacular moments - Walton Journey Exhibition

Walton has organised this 4 Senses exhibition to create an informative yet interesting learning experience about land banking to the Managers' specially invited guests.

Walton International Group will be showcasing : - Research & Acquisition Strategies - Track record - Studies on WHY North America & Are we affected? - HOW do we manage to continue to deliver amidst the current financial crisis.

You will also be able to experience a 4 senses ( see, hear, smell and taste) connection to the top growing North American cities Walton embarks into, with the help of multi media platforms and regional cuisine.

Do let me know if you are keen to attend, I will inform my PA & reserve a seat for you. Pls take note that this event is PURELY FOR educational purpose, not for sales. Anyone of any age or any walk of life, if you are keen to find out. Do contact me:

yanying.ong@waltoninternational.com.sg 97545658

2008-11-19T07:05:00.001-08:00

And i think i like you...

2008-11-15T05:07:00.000-08:00

my heart has learnt to love much lately..but yet, when it comes too close, too fast....
And i am struggling, cos i felt handicapped again.

cos i do not know how to react too.

alright, i refuse to think so much in this area of fear of loving and especially being loved.
too much for me to handle esp when i start feeling loved by the ppl around.

I have a determination:
I have hit my Elite Club 2008 & i really want to thank God for His awesome providence, convenance as well His miracles in my life...as a testimony for the ppl around..

And Now, my next Goal is to achieve XXXX by dec 2008.
I want to go back to my past. I want to gain back my confidence & my joy in a very temporal way.

Lord, I am confused.
Sometimes even though I am still dwelling in your presence, but i still miss and need a physical presence of this somebody to embrace and to love me.
Sometimes it is a struggle when you wish someone will be there and yet afraid that someone will be there.
And why so Lord? Cos i am afraid of getting hurt and vulnerable?
someone needs to be loved, to fill up this void within.
and sometimes, i felt that in my life, there is no more excitement anymore.
No more cravings, no more desires, no more tremendously heart-throb that can melt this heart.

Sigh.

2008-11-11T01:51:00.000-08:00

I am tired & I think i need sleep.
But then I am so tired, that when i fall onto my bed, I couldnt concuss immediately.

I have been to the MMI (Millionaire Mind Intensive Seminar) from fri-sun 2008 lately.
HMMM, I must admit, it kindda of fall short of my expectations & what I think Mr. Harv will be...
But, definitely I have gained some good insightful during this 3 days.

Greater Self Awareness, Greater understanding about what i seriously think about Money as well as Greater enrichment about what I exactly should think of things.

Some of the things that struck me are:

Money is NOT evil
Rich ppl are and can be NICE ppl too
There is nothing wrong with being RICH & SUCCESSFUL
It is possible to get rich easy, pain-less & struggle-less. Good things dont need to be hard to get
If you love & care for the ppl around, THEN you should by the more, get Rich, to bless others
If God has given me the ability to be rich, it is very neccessary for me to get REALLY rich & Successful, so that I can help those who DO NOT have this ability to be REALLY rich & successful.
I am more worthy than who I think I am
I am GOOD ENOUGH. I deserved to have, to be & to do
I am not JUST a good giver, I am also an excellent receiver! (which I am learning hard now)
Money solves problem, it doesnt create problems!

But, to be very frank........if you were to compare my 3D MMI seminar VS 1day Sunday church sermon on monday by Nick....
I believe the sunday sermon struck me more. I teared....when Nick mentioned about losing faith...and trying to find back that faith to carry on...to find strength...to find hope....to get out of depression, of pain, of hurt etc etc...

But God is interesting too. He has His "cannot be understood" ways to speak to me...to use me as his steward to speak to others...etc...

Currently, I just cannot think. I cant think, cos too much to think...

2008-11-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, it hurts when relationships get a little too deep.
Sometimes, it frustrates a little when you start forming expectations which you didnt mean to be
Sometimes, you wonder why the vulnerability sinks in so deep that you feel so in danger, in pain and uncontrollable.
And emotions get too strong.

you know its ironic when no man can be an island. When you need ppl around you and yet you wish you can be alone.
Yaps, you are like the hermit crab, that avoid everytime when you get very uncomfortable.
you start retracking when you feel closer to and intimate with.
you feel a little loss when you do not know how to react when emotions get stirred up.

And i am tired.

Cos i am tired of sitting in this see-saw.
I feel i can be emotion-less and just do things as a task.
but i cant. Cos i am a emotion person. And i do thank God that my heart is not hardened.

Just that whenever i feel so vulnerable, i feel the pain.
and then the headache.

i remain tired always as usual. tired Lord.

Would you grant me my desires of this last lap of Race, before i take a break & spend sometime doing solitude in your aweseome presence.

Lord, help me, help me, help me.

2008-11-03T02:32:00.000-08:00

Phi's Underground Kitchen says:
wat's with knowing u

Phi's Underground Kitchen says:
how to know u better?

Phi's Underground Kitchen says:
how are u feeling today miss ong

Phi's Underground Kitchen says:
sometimes i think u are so leveled headed i dunno if u feel anything at all le

My1st Hallowween partttyyyieee 2008 :)

2008-11-01T05:20:00.000-07:00

Lord, I feel very very jagged,,

2008-10-27T03:44:00.000-07:00

These few days have been a too happening week.
not that the activities were happening...but the things that were discussed...the things that i found out...i found it a huge burden onto me...i found it suffocating..i found it so ugly and so imperfect.

That it's so painful.

Married woman, do guard your heart against the other man, especially those married man.
Married man, do not flirt & sin emotionally. Be responsible & take ownership.
Be discipline.

And then the ppl in this world who are so jagged by the things in these world..conformed so much...thats its scary..
It was initially tempting to want to be "like them", but i was surprised when the feelings was revolved to being "scared & very afraid" to be like them...

The world has fallen, indeed, it has.

And i was so surprised when the ppl around have this "impression" of me, that I am a "2-lane highway"...
I need to be with more like-minded ppl...so that my spirit can be edified...can be affirmed...can be encouraged...
No wonder, we need wisdom.

Today, steph Goh, Pastor and Sharon prayed for me..
But the most painful one, was what Sharon prayed. I teared...with hurt & pain.
I always have this "affiliation" that i feel towards this good frd of mine in church.
She always manage to pray into the deep moments of my heart.

I have 2 goals to achieve this year by Dec 2008:
(1) To be in the Elite Club 2008 in Walton.
(2) To reach XXXX.

Lord, grant me the desires of my heart...I chose to believe in your faithfulness & your providence. You will grant me self control & discipline of my heart & mind. Grant me ability to be secured in who I am.

Grant me a cheerful heart to be who I am. To accept myself for who I am. Not to compare with others too O Lord.

2008-10-25T00:33:00.001-07:00

We must face up to our sins before we can put them behind us.

2008-10-22T23:17:00.000-07:00

It's an interesting experience.
When i went to this place called Luna at Clarke Quay with some of my colleagues after our hotel seminar. Been such a LONG time since, i drank so much.
Not that i drink a lot, just that i hardly drink.

Except my Trip in US.

It was a very cantonese pop place..haha...but the music was nice.
I had quite a lot of good fun especially with this particular colleague of mine...haha.
She is a bimbo la.

But it was fun :) Been so long, since i seriously let loose, have fun & drink.

But the bad thing was...i was almost drunk.
Vomitted 2 freaking times when i reach home.
once just OUTSIDE my lift :(
once in my kitchen toilet bowl.

I was so drowsy, then i changed and sleep.
230am & woke up at 7am+ for appt...
And "popped" a panadol, when i woke up in the afternoon...
cos having headache & hung over :(

lousy shit i am!!!

And yday, this special colleague of mine...spoke to me about God.
Abt the priorities in life, that need to be set right.
Abt the miracles and providence that the Lord has granted.
Abt the faith and the confidence in knowing who our Father truly is.
Abt the importance to let go & let God.

It's interesting.

And we were discussing about the success formula that each one of us has.
It's interesting to know that each one of us are just so uniquely different.
No point comparing...and being envious and jealous.

Wish them the best, learn from them & grow together.

And i thank God for this bunch of great colleagues :)
Especially Christian colleagues who keep me sane...so that i do not sidetrack in this journey of my life.

Life is a journey. Do not go through it so fast, then you have reach destination, but forgot how you get there...and missed out the scenaries along the path...

2008-10-19T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am afraid. I think I might have fallen in love with you.
The wrong type of love, of emotions, of attachment.

Perhaps, this is not reali love?

I have no idea.

Its scary, how lack of self control can lead to.

And how without deliberately guarding your heart and mind can be..

2008-10-13T08:43:00.001-07:00

'One thing on which economists have been proved wrong again and again is in the flexibility and reactivity of the US economy. Despite all the terrible things it has been through this year, the US will still record higher growth than either Europe or Japan.' - Iconoclastic economic forecaster Thierry Apoteker

2008-10-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

This is an amazing video...
I nearly teared towards the end, with this amazing song...

I was a marathron runner & i understand how tough it is to complete a race & to complete it strong...

And he did it with love for another person.
Like this song sings " My redemmer lives".....
Every lyrics that was sung touches my heart & brought meaning to me, bring me back to earth, down to earth once again.

This love, this love that is what life is all about.

May this video speaks to you, in your own uniquely way...

philippians 4:11: " I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me"

Who taught the sun where to stand?
Who taught the sea where to come this far?
Who taught the falling stars?

That's cos our redeemer lives. Not just mine. But yours as well.

All of the creation testify there is life within me - Christ.
________________________________________________________________

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning? And who told the ocean you can only come this far? And who showed the moon where to hide till evening? Whose words alone can catch a falling star? Chorus:Well I know my Redeemer livesI know my Redeemer livesAll of creation testifiesThis life within me criesI know my Redeemer livesYe-e-eahThe very same GodThat spins things in orbitRuns to the weary, the worn and the weakAnd the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm brokenThey conquered death to bring me victoryNow I know, my Redeemer livesI know my Redeemer livesLet all creation testifyLet this life within me cryI-I-I knowMy RedeemerHe livesTo take away my shameAnd He livesForever I'll proclaimThat the payment for my sinsWas the precious life He gaveAnd now He's alive andThere's an emptyGrave! And I knowMy Redeemer livesHe livesI knowMy Redeemer livesLet all creation testifyLet this life within me cryI-I-I know my RedeemerI knowMy Redeemer lives*I know my Redeemer lives**I know, That I know, that I know, that I know, that I knowHe lives*my redeemer lives**Because He lives I can face tomorrowHe lives*I know, I know*He lives*I spoke with Him this morning!*He lives*The tomb is empty*He lives*He Lives! I'm going to tell everybody!!*

2008-10-08T18:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.alighthouse.com/aftertherain.htm

After The Rain

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
There will always be sunshine, After The Rain.
Perhaps you may stumble, you might even fall
But God's always ready to answer your call.
He knows every heartache, sees every tear
A word from His lips can calm every fear.

Your sorrows may linger throughout the night
But suddenly vanish, at dawn's early light.
The Savior is waiting somewhere above,
To give you His grace and send you His love.
Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
God always sends rainbows, After The Rain.

Me and You.

2008-10-08T08:23:00.001-07:00

Emotional, yes I am.

Jealous, yes I am.

Insecured, yes I am.

Inferior, yes I am.

Low self confidence, yes I am.

Discontented, yes I am.

Missing you, yes I am.

Overstressed, yes I am.

very pissed, yes I am.

Feel like giving up, yes I am.

Tired of trying, yes I am.

Why me? yes I ask.

Why not me? yes I ask.

Will I have? yes I ask.

Will I not have? yes I ask.

Why so then? yes I ask.

Why so not then? yes I ask.

this little heart is feeling very unsettled.

I want to XXXX XXXXXX XXX!!!

I want to XXX XXXXX XXXX XXX!!!

I want to be the XXX XXXXXXX XXX!!!

I want you to know that X XXXX XXX!!!

I want to know if X XXXX XX XXX!!!

I pray. prayed. praying.

Would you Lord? Take a look at my hands & my heart.

A pure heart, tt's what i long for, which i truly find it so unattainable that Iwant to give up trying.

2008-10-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

I hate to be mis-interpreted.

If you do not know me, then pls dont insist that you know me.

I know who i truly am. Many times, the things that i do, could be mis-interpreted by those around.
But i am clear of my conscious.

I apologise when my humility is seen as being hypocritical or fake to you.
I apologise when my performance seems to be a form of cheating and dishonesty to you.
I apologies when you feel that i am jus another KS and selfish person.

But truly, i know myself, who i truly am.
I do not need to justify myself to you. I do not need to win my favour or trust from you.
Neither do i want to try so hard to explain myself.

Cos i am tired. I just wannan run my own race.

2008-10-05T08:27:00.000-07:00

2008-10-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

And I had a tiring day today!
But finally tml is Friday!
Lord, bless me with a lovely friday! Let it be a favourable, fruitful & abundance Friday!

Lord, open doors of opportunities for me.
Lord, grant me favours and favours from the ppl around.
Lord, allow me to reap the harvest that you have in plan for me.

Lord, grant me miracle & the desire of my heart.

Lord, settle this heart.
Lord, it's like a see-saw.

Lord, it's painful, when i always have to deal with an inner struggle between my mind and my heart.

Heart - are you still alive? or dead right now? Answer me, Heart.

2008-10-01T04:31:00.000-07:00

It's dangerous....when things are getting more valid and clearer...when the inner deep desires start to surface more and more... and you start to learn to acknowledge them...

And so things start surfacing so much lately then i am scared.

I hate to know that this heart has betrayed me once again.

And this heart has wandered astray again. again. and again.

Jealousy, Envy, Lingering Tots, thumping heartbeat, joy in your presence and lost of my purpose in your absence.

And i seriously rather my heart cant feel. Perhaps, i can protect myself more. much. more.

Careless Whisper, i played it in a repeat mode the whole night.

Why doesnt this heart go so weak everytime?

beyond beyond!

2008-09-26T06:38:00.001-07:00

2008-09-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, i can also confuse.
Y izzit that when i love, i yet find ways to run away.
Y izzit that when i care, i yet find ways to ignore & pretend tt i dont give a damn.
Y izzit that when i wish i am go close, i yet try to hide away...

Listen to your heart........
Izzit because of this fear to "fall" deeper in love?
Izzit because of this fear to get hurt....& to be made vulnerable?
Izzit because of this fear to give you my all, only to realise that i am going to lose all?

Why does this heart always fall for the wrong side of the road?
Does this heart always get captivated in the most unaccepted away?

And, indeed, this is the phase when the big word LOVE appears vague & scary in my life.

I am afraid, and very afraid.
afraid that one day, i will surrender to my heart.
And to fall.

I am afraid, and very afraid.
afraid that one day, i will hear the word "Goodbye".

And so the

2008-09-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

Am i a social butterfly? I dont think so.
I guess it is not the "I" in me that is at work, but the "S" in me that is socialising.

Bcos i need to make sure that the ppl ard me are feeling comfortable & they are enjoying themself.

My role as a clown starts and slowly fades into being a backdrop - which i often delights in.

And so, i had a little drink with Marcelly & Isabelle at Attica yday, during some marketing and advertising function.
FINALLY....i had my vodka + lime & me Whiskey + coke!
Been so long since i last craved for!

Perhaps, i should complement it with my margarita hur hur! :)
tt will be perfect!

Yday, i went to Turf Club totaliser board for a present & manage to help my client in securing the atlanta georgia 2-4yrs deal from Walton international Grp(S) Pte Ltd.

It is spectacular project, with the govt intervention & collaboration with Walton International Group(S) Pte lTd.
So that we can help them to grow their city "Arcade" -- tts why we name the project as "arcade meadows".

This is something like the martindale project! We had in Austin, that the municipal govt also approach walton to buy over the land to help them to grow the city, and do city annexation!

This is also something like our sawtooth project! We had in phx arizona, same collaboration :)

Oh ya...forgot to mentioned, McCann is the current mulit-billion advertising agency for walton international Group(S) Pte lTd!

http://www.mccann.com/

Big reputable company that only assist big MNCs like walton, coke, credit sussie, HP, General motors etc etc for branding.
Product Branding & Company Branding.

oh ya..no more discussion about my excitement in work!

BACK TO THE TURB CLUB :)

and so....i have always and always been into the corporate box only!!!
never did i went into the office of the chairman & directors :)
mindblowing.

its is BEAUUUTIIIFOOOOO.

and i love the horses, the way they race, the nice and clean fur they have, the built & the strong legs that propel them in the midst of the air resistance.

Lovely encounter with my client :)
great guy who had shared & taught me a lot!

Indeed, i wanna thank God for his miraculous week this week! :)
I seriously didnt expect such outcome to be frank.

And i still choose & want to believe that the Lord will mulitply my 5lovaes & 2fishes.

in the name of Jesus, i pray. AMEN.

I need M I R A C L Essss Lord.

2008-09-24T17:24:00.001-07:00

Guard my heart & Guard my mind.

Lord, help me to focus in You. And let me see Miracles!

Let me be secured in You, in Your Love, in my self-significance, in my self-worth, in knowing my position in You.

Emotions and Sentiments are often a temptation, but let me not fall.

2008-09-23T05:17:00.001-07:00

I am so jealous that I am dying :(

Lord, I hate myself.

2008-09-20T17:54:00.000-07:00

yday was a good day!

Had a lovely seafood dinner at Tiong Bahru with Suchern, Phoebe & Adeline!

Yday was quite a good day packed with slow activities.

1030am, at Wheelock for an appt.

then had my personal time for 2hrs, BATHE & smell good! :)

And ya...i met Angel & Elsa at the toilet...haha...when i was about to do my steam bath.

had a good chat with them & i think i miss them....awwww...

Then went home, rested, ate my lovely strawberries, surf some net & listen to my Lovely Ma-M-Mia soundtrack!

And also waited for Adeline to come over to my house to charge her hp...haha.

Oh man...maybe i am reali a very lousy person to give direction....esp to driver :(

Big BOO BOO.

And so she was here to enjoy the aircon, laze on my clean bed, ate some strawberries, listen together to my favvvvv songs and briefly look through some of my old kiddy days photos.

And it was funny. When i have never actually took notice of her back in the past, and even if i know her, i cant reali be bothered at all to make friends. And dont know when, we started talking and become closer. Relationships happen in a wierd way, arent they.

And i am glad for the relationship that I had with suchern. Someone who can understand, who can associate my personality & expectations with.

It's good to have friends around. But somehow, i felt its more imptly to have a few good frds who can walk the journey together with you. Someone who encourages, someone who shares & listens. Someone whom you can sit on the same swing, do not talk & yet feel very comfortable.

And it brought me back to the friends I have....the friends whom i missed.

And suddenly, i realised, this is the period, when i feel the need to be loved, and the need to love.

It's weird.

And yday, i was re-watching some of Nick's Video on Youtube...

And i could feel the emotions coming again.

The confidence, the hope, the faith, the broken-ness that was once with me.

Somehow along this journey, i have lost such little characterisitics.

And i am afraid, very afraid. That one day, this sapphire will lost herself in the midst of everything.

But yet, each day, i struggle to go back to my old self.

To find back that confidence & that zeal that was once with me!

Why do i feel so empty?

Why do i feel that i need someone to fill up this void in me?

And God should have filled it up. Or could it be cos i hadnt reali spent time with Him?

Human flesh,it is weak.

"Somewhere deep inside, i think i still miss you" - This was the lyrics in the song "winner takes it all".

I hate to visit the inner deep side of myself.
And I reali reali just feel like going on a LONGGG holiday and put everything behind.

But i cant, cos its just another escapism.

Watever, I have msn-ed adeline yday, actually spoke very strongly to myself.

I am too, like that many times.

It's always the constant struggle betw the heart and the mind, that i CANT reconcille.

And i find it tiring to say it out to anyone. And i kept it inside me. Like some dust, constantly beingn swept under the carpet.

Until 1 day, when its so thick, it gotta re-surface.

And last night, i told God, today - this sunday, 21st Sept, WILL BE MY LAST DOWN DAY.

Sapphire needs to pick herself up again!!!!!

Lord, give me strength to continue.

Lord, give me hope to endure.

Lord, give me Love to find back my security.

Lord, multiple my 5loaves & 2fishes, to see the miracles that was beyond what i could percieve.

Lord, you know the deep down desires of my heart. The broken-ness in me, i seek your Grace & Mercy.

Manytimes, when i was faithless, Lord, you remain faithful.

You remain faithful, bcos You love me, for who i am.

I do not need to prove to the world. I do not need to gain approval. I am simply be the me, that I was made to be and proud to be.

And the sensitivity spirit within me you have blessed me with, will do great things for you.

And the maturity thinking within me you have blessed me with, will walk close with you.

Let my spiritual man rise up. The last week of sept, will be an eye-opener for You Jesus.

With many will see miracles through my testimonies!

2008-09-18T06:26:00.000-07:00

I don’t wanna talk

About the things we’ve gone through

Though it’s hurting me

Now it’s history

I’ve played all my cards

And that’s what you’ve done too

Nothing more to say

No more ace to play

The winner takes it all

The loser standing small

Beside the victory

That’s her destiny

I was in your arms

Thinking I belonged there

I figured it made sense

Building me a fence

Building me a home

Thinking I’d be strong there

But I was a fool

Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice

Their minds as cold as ice

And someone way down here

Loses someone dear

The winner takes it all

The loser has to fall

It’s simple and it’s plain

Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss

Like I used to kiss you?

Does it feel the same

When she calls your name?

Somewhere deep inside

You must know I miss you

But what can I say

Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide

The likes of me abide

Spectators of the showAlways staying low

The game is on again

A lover or a friend

A big thing or a small

The winner takes it all

I don’t wanna talk

If it makes you feel sad

And I understand

You’ve come to shake my hand

I apologizeIf it makes you feel bad

Seeing me so tense

No self-confidence

But you see

The winner takes it allT

he winner takes it all......

2008-09-12T22:32:00.001-07:00

How can i......?

2008-09-12T00:20:00.000-07:00

The trouble with Love is.
When you start to fantasize, and by doing so, gives yourself false hope.
The trouble with Love is.
When you start to dwell in the good feeling of being loved & being missed.
The trouble with Love is.
When you start with a curious heart and mind to want to understand what the other party is feeling and thinking.
The trouble with Love is.
Ourselves. For we give ourselves leeway, and a trap to be encapsulated with false hopes.

Love is something that is magical in everyones' life.
Different type of relationships, different type of season in life.

And everyone needs to be loved. Needs to love. That's a fact. An inner desire.

It is like a double edged sword. You use it wisely. Or you will Fall...

2008-09-11T16:42:00.001-07:00

Jo.Yap bought me a nice err...dress yday? haha...is a casual type of dress.
VERY PRETTTYYYY, i reali reali reali like it a lot :)

very my style...haahaa!

Btw, i think i am back to my momentum.....! hopefully!

And i reali reali wanan thank God for the few colleagues that i have.
To walking the journey with me, for being there, for sharing, for inspiring, for everything.

And i thank God for my determination also in pursuing my health.

Sometimes, i felt that I could be too impatient.
Way too patient, i realised that when i met benny and suan yday during contract signing at Paragon. I realise that i also want tobe very successful at such a young age. Though possible, but i need to be realistic & i need to give myself time too.

And so , i guess, i need to be patient.
Just like when i drive, seriously no patient. BUT, of cos compared to others, its MUCH better liaos.

On a side way, i was listening to this song "How am i Supposed to live without you..." from Class 95FM.
ITS SO NICEEEEE....such an EMO song. Big BOO BOO! :(

Alrights, today is FRIDAY!

Lord, give me a good day! a good weekend! a good week ahead! JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!

2008-09-10T09:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a pleasant day of surprises & of love!
A long break of lunch at Thomson, Ice Cream & Coffee break at Shenton by a mysterious nice person! :)
Beautiifooo roses (though not Blue in colour...haha..) by another special someone.
Nice chocolates by my 2babes. SINS.
And a lovely bday small polar cake & a little bday song by a few of my colleagues :)

Wendy came to my house for dinner MeeSuan.
Went to HK cafe to meet up with Candice, Miao & wendy for a while for supper.

And i thank God for this lovely day & the unexpected Love which i felt i didnt deserve.
And i hope i can pick myself up again. And continue in this race... :(

Hapi Birthday to Me.

2008-09-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

What a statement....

sometimes, we expect things to come all in the way we want.

And we somehow assume that we ought to have, we should have, we must have...

It's like a self-deserving thing that human nature demand.

And until when i saw this statement, i tot its quite interesting.

Somehow, life Should never be a bed of red roses...why should it be?

If everything is happening to our twinkle, our click of fingers, our inner desires...

then prob this mankind will only lead to disasters in this world.

In the midst of racing, some brakes are needed.

To restore the vehicle, To allow the challenger to think & reflect upon, To allow a break so to take a pant, To eat some food, To drink some water.

And so lord, Let this 2008 birthday be a special one.

Let me ponder upon your Love & Promises that you had for me.

Let me just put all the work behind my shoulders and just enjoy doing what i enjoy today.

And the performances, the expectations, the anxieties, the rejections, I surrender all to Thee.

And I thank you for my dearest colleagues who have been a source of encouragement, of love, of Joy and of Support.

Its interesting how the word Interdependency and Intimacy have been twinged together in both church and my marketplace.

Lord, grant me my wish.

2008-09-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

I am sorry that even though i cared, my actions doesnt seem to be so.
I cant help it but to ignore everytime when i cared.

I am repentful & I am sorry.
I will change.

I want my actions to be true to my heart.
When I care, I truly care.
And I will be proactive.

Not to feel shy, not to feel rejected, not to feel fear of being vulnerable.

And i am down, very depressed, very sianz, very discouraged lately, with too many things.
And i am glad that today brought a few lovely angels to my life...to make my day a better one..

And Lord, do you truly know the desires of my heart?
Will you surely bless me with my desires?

Lord. I am at the cross roads. Not sure how to go ahead from here...

Let not past Success exclude you from God.

2008-09-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

The Dangers Of Success

READ: Deuteronomy 8:6-18

Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments, His judgments, and His statutes. —Deuteronomy 8:11

Alexandr Solzhenitsyn said that he learned to pray in a Siberian concentration camp because he had no other hope. Before his arrest, when things were going well, he seldom gave God a thought.

Similarly, the Israelites learned the habit of depending on God in the Sinai wilderness where they had no choice; they needed His daily intervention just to eat and drink. But when they finally stood on the banks of the Jordan River, they awaited a more difficult test of faith. After they entered the land of plenty, would they soon forget God?

The Israelites knew little about the seductions of other cultures, having spent their lives in the desert. Moses was more afraid of the coming prosperity than the rigors of the desert—the alluring sensuality, the exotic religions, the glittering wealth. The Israelites might put God behind them and credit themselves for their success (Deut. 8:11,17).

Ironically, success makes it harder to depend on the Lord. The Israelites did prove less faithful after they moved into the Promised Land. Again and again they turned their hearts to other gods.

Beware of the temptation that success brings. There is grave danger in getting what we want. — Philip Yancey

I blindly ask for what I crave,
With haughty heart and will so stout;
He oft denies me what I seek,
But gives me grace to do without. —Anon.

There is no failure more disastrous than the success that leaves God out.

2008-09-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

I am in a bad mood. So i went to cut my hair & dye my hair with LYnn.
Cos i met her as she was going home from office, so decided that both of us shall go and do our hair.

Sigh, impatient I am, in my job.
Sigh, impatient she is, in her hair cutting & dye-ing.

Lord, must there surely be a thunderstorm before the rainbow can be seen?
Lord, must there surely be night, before the day can be seen?

On a side track, i am so tired.
And my "system" is working so slow that i am pissed off.
Cant you increase the Mrate?!?!!?

I am irritated. Cos nothing seems to be right.
And I am not feeling good. Simply.

And how so, Lord?

AbsoluteSapphire extracted from the Absolute Vodka & Sapphire Bombay.
With the pearl white peach & the blue sapphire crystal.
A little to make you chill, a bit to tipsyness and slightly above threshold to make you lose your conscious state.
The smoothness of which, is what is defined as good.
The coolness of which, is what makes it digestible.
The lime in it, to make it slightly sour to stir the appetide.

And Lord. May i ask. How, When, Where, Who, What?!?!?!!
And Lord, May you find favour in me & give me what my heart truly desire?
For this little servant here is tired. very.

For you are my deliverer, my fortress & my tower of strength.
Where i hide under your wings, as you manevourve the way in the air.

May The GOd of Love and Grace fall upon me.

2008-09-03T08:26:00.000-07:00

Sapphire is so tired.

2008-09-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

And so i was bombarded by tremendous news lately.
Firstly, I realised 1 big problem about myself.
I am so so affected, so so guilty.

That i am so so so determined to change totally.
I was inspired and driven by what one of my colleague did.

Next, I was stumbled by something that I have found out lately.

O Lord O Lord O Lord.
Why is it that i was so in fire to go forward, i was put to a BIG HURL right now.
Unsettled and unsure of to go forward or to take a slower pace.

Lord, All i have in heart is pure & upright.
But only to realise that....perhaps, I have failed myself.

I am very humbled, very affected, very sad.
Very disappointed with myself utterly.

I thanked you for the colleagues whom you have blessed me with, the teachings, the sharing, the transparency, the discussion, the encouragement etc etc.

Truly good frds are hard to come by.
And they are worth the time investment to build on solid relationships.

And my mood has been going down swing lately.
And I needed a good haircut & a good hair dye this thurs.
And oh ya, also a good laptop fixing...

And so Lord, i need to sleep now..
to sleep all my troubles and bothered up thoughts now...

2008-09-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

Sigh. Why do i have such feelings again....?

Why do you appear again when I wish I can give up the entire world.

Withdrawal Sympton. I am dying.
Pretending that I dont care. Pretending that you dont mean a thing. Pretending that i cant be bothered.
I wish you can be more proactive & yet i wish you did not too.

So that I can finish this Race strong & be a good servant.

Why do you appear again? Alrights, my world is disturbed again. again. again. again.

Lesbiasm.

2008-08-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

This Taboo Topic of HomoSexualism has always been a "Banned" Topic for discussion especially in Church.

But among my peers etc, this has always been a common topic to talk, discuss & ponder upon..
How ironic & amazing is this human behaviour...where different people react differently...

I have quite a handful of frds around me who are lesbian. Not so many of gays..
Hence, Being a sportsman since young, I am always surrounded by ppl who are homosexual, who tend to have an inclination towards homosexuality and who along their "straight" path, backsided again....

I have friends who nearly got engaged...broke up with her 7yrs boyfriend to be together with a girl.
I have friends who have never been attached with a guy before & with multiple of girlfriends...

Personally, I felt that Girls tend to have a inclination towards sexuality...bcos of their inner desire to be loved...to be cared for...to have a soul mate, who can truly understand, be gentle, be sincere, be supportive etc...
Of cos This is the distinctive difference between a girl & a guy.
Guy can never and never be as sensitive & caring & emotionally supportive as girls.
Which this could be a very much attribute to where girls are starting to feel that Girls could be a better partner compared to a guy.

And sometimes i wonder...can there be a distinctive differentiation between "Having a female soulmate" VS "Having a female partner"?
Could these ppl be deceived that....because you like this friend so much..depend on this person so much...and this friend has been so much a part of her life...that..somehow....they mistook it as "I love her?"

And so...who is the different between Infatuation? Love? Like? Crush? Flinge?

My mind and My heart is always provoke by such

2008-08-27T10:05:00.000-07:00

When "I miss him" seems so far, "I miss her" came along.

When "I miss her" was faded into the back scene, "I miss him" came side by side again to conquer & consume my heart.

And so This little girl asked as she looked up into the sky, "When do i have to miss? And be sucked into this routine vicious cycle? Can i leave everything behind & just find freedom being who I truly am..who I truly want to be...no need to account anymore. No need to struggle between the flesh & the spirit?"

And so the rainbow came...and she knew exactly what the message is for her...

"I still chose to love you."

-ouch-

2008-08-26T06:03:00.000-07:00

Wat a interesting 2 weeks I had.
A different way of presentation.

Purely building rapport & understanding what the clients are looking for..
No longer presenting SO MUCH and SO IN DETAILS...

And So, I met 2 interesting clients in this 2 weeks.
A "red bull-ed" Boss & a Developer-fied Boss.
Interestingly, for this 2 clients, Sapphire has a strong impulse to buy some mooncakes to appreciate them for making time to meet up with me.

They are nice guys, whom i seriously do hope to make a difference in their live.

And so I am now sitting at Cineleisure 24hr HK cafe. Couldnt make it for "Money No Enuff" movie, cos of my appt..so decided to join my church frds for dinner/supper instead.

My BIG appointment was postponed to Next tues & I wasnt very pissed. Instead, I felt the peace, that it may be better to do it next week, then this week...

And the MOST disasterous thing that has added on to my depressed mood, is my lappie.
I think the OS is spoilt.
Which also means that I need to do back up soon, I need to reformat my tooopiiidd MACBOOK (Running on a Windows OS) & then...maybe buy a new Lappie for my work.
So that this white elephant can be placed at home.
YES, it is an elephant...so heavy.... :(

I miss my personal life. And i am so so so determined to find it back this week or else, next week!

ENOUGH of work mans...i have been working non-stop for like coming to 21days?
with ONLY 1 sunday really breaking from the big W!
Haha....Recruitment Fair, Invest Fair, Recruitment Talk, Seminar Talk, Normal appointments, Incentive Trip, Church etc...

And in the midst of my busyness, i managed to meet up with little Crystal for breakfast, little dessert tea breaks with my colleagues & little night session with my consultants who are also my frds...

In the midst of the dark night, I find comfort in those who still cares abt me..

Addicted to Gold Class Movie now.

2008-08-25T17:37:00.000-07:00

2008-08-25T17:09:00.001-07:00

When God Ran - Acappella

And so I have been occupied with thoughts lately. Occupied with no specific questions or specific answers.
Roaming around with my routine activities at work & yet with a mind disturbed & zombie-fied.

And so I was attacked by the devil with a thousand permutations of provoking challenges.

And though this faint heart still remains true to her feelings that Jesus is God. And He is a good God who cares & who loves.

Definitely divide the correlation of God VS Man.
Understanding that God is God.
God doesnt fail, but Man fails.

I was reading Psalms 8 yday.
And so there is this one verse that says, "what is man that you are mindful of him, the son of man that you care for him?"

So who are you that God has been thinking of day & night..who are you that God is mindful of....that He cares abt you...

God loves you so much tat even in Psalm 8, it was clearly stated that:

"You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet"

Only a little lower...Besides the angels etc in the heaven, we are ranked 2nd. This is how great we are...that God has allowed.

And so, have you ever watched the stars on the sky late at night?
And so, have you looked at the creatures of different skin, different attitudes, different sizes with the same awesomeness as how you have viewed the great ocean road & the great canyon?

"When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place...."

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

How true it is....
Do not draw me close to you & harden my heart against Man.

And so I had a repeat of a few nice songs yday night after I met & scolded my 2 consultants at my house.

And this was one of the song and this phrase, "The day he left home, I knew I had broken His Heart..."

How rude & daring we are to offend, to disappoint, to go against this God.
This loving Father He is, always tolerate our nonsensical stuff.

Ridiculous.

I wish, God can tell me directly, what to do and what not to do, rather than Man.
For the world today in Christianity, seems to be painted by Man rather than followed accordingly to God.

For I am so afraid, tat one day, Sapphire will come out with a shocking decision.
To leave everything behind.

Once upon a time, I heard this little girl having Joy...and having a very simpled minded way of life. And as she learnt more, through experiences, through mistakes, through observations, she realised that things are not as simple it is.
How true, when the girl thought back, that ignorance is bliss & as you know more, you know less.

And this girl find it so hard...and cant control herself to think of this big word "JAGGED" in her life.
And she wonder, why is man so scary & so unconstant.
And realise that is because all her expectations should be placed unto the Lord.
And not on the Man around.

2008-08-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

And so Guard ur heart, before you fall for it again.

Those that i wish had cared, did not.
And those who i least expected, cared.

And it hurts to know that you actually care.

-teared-

2008-08-24T09:43:00.000-07:00

Surrender

Everything that was is in Your hands
and all that is to come.
I give to You. Take control.

This life belongs to You.
Forgive me Lord for walking my own road.

Take control. Jesus take control.
Your Kingdom come.
Your will be done.
Now and forever and I surrender Oh I surrender Oh I surrender to You, to You.

That I may hear Your voice, that I may know You heart, that I would see Your world
through eyes of hope.

This my prayer oh God, this my prayer that I may pray
And I surrender to You.

And so I cried.

2008-08-24T09:17:00.001-07:00

surrender -

I AM who you read.

2008-08-24T08:58:00.000-07:00

Hurt. I am. Very.

Tired. I am . Very.

Headache. I am. Very.

Letting go. I am. Very.

Lonely. I am. Very.

Nonchalant. I am. Very.

Broken. I am. VERY.

Swollen-Eyed. I am. Very.

Humbled. I am. Very.

Defeated. I am. Very.

Surrendered. I am. Very.

Failure. I am. Very.

Criticized. I am. Very.

JAGGED. I AM. VERY.

SUFFOCATED. I AM. VERY.

USA volleyball WON!! :)

2008-08-24T03:57:00.000-07:00

#13 - Clay Stanley

Position: Opposite

Height: 6-9 (205cm)

Weight: 230 lbs (104kg)

Hometown: Honolulu, Hawaii

College: Hawai’i

Birth Date: January 1978

Joined Team: November 2000

He is my Idol now.

Good project: Austin: Walton International Group

2008-08-24T03:40:00.000-07:00

Contact me: 97545658 to find out more :)

2008-08-23T19:06:00.000-07:00

This was our August Incentive Trip that I was once again by God's Grace given to go.
My boss booked a "corporate box" to watch the race of the beauuutiiifoooo horses!

I bet from race 3-11, for the "kick" of it.
Didnt see it as gambling, cos its just a sport to see if my instinct & my gut feeling was accurate.

And in fact, I realised something from this little betting.

"I like to always bet against the odds. Just dont like to follow the norm. BUT, bcos I didnt want to lose, I had to conform to the norm predictions of the red horse etc..."

In fact, I lose $13. Not a big sum of money la.

Maybe, this again highlights this individuality & this pridefulness in me, to want to be different.

Just dont like to believe statement like "OH, must be this la. Why go against others?", "Aiya, no need to think la, just follow the experts!", "sure, wont win, see the odds etc"

HAHA, of cos the experts are ACCURATELY every round was right!

But once again........HMMMM...oh, i know...why already..

COS, Sapphire dont like to lose. That's why I am more stubborn, persistent & prideful.

2008-08-19T09:48:00.001-07:00

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

When Romania’s Tomescu-Dita crossed the finish line in the Beijing Olympics, she not only won the gold medal in the Women’s Marathon, but, at 38, she became the oldest Olympian ever to do it, leaving 83 competitors in the dust.

Tomescu-Dita led unchallenged for more than an hour, running alone for more than half of the race — a remarkable achievement given the quality of the Beijing field. I watched her running along the grueling course that snaked through the streets of Beijing from Tiananmen Square to the Bird’s Nest stadium.

I watched her become energized when the stadium came into sight and then as she circled outside before entering the stadium, I was impressed with something the announcer said, declaring that entering the stadium of victory is “something that every marathoner looks forward to.”

Tomescu-Dita looked strong as she entered the National Stadium to a rousing ovation from the crowd of 60,000. The cheers reached a crescendo as she emerged from the tunnel entrance.

I thought of a spiritual and Biblical parallel. Paul speaks 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 of the ancient games where people run to win a wreath that will not last, but that the Christian runs to win a crown that will last forever, life above with Jesus. Just as the marathoner looks to the stadium and finish line of victory, we as Christians look to the goal of victory through eternal unity with God in His heavenly kingdom and the heavenly crowd will cheer.

Life is a race and the finish line is in the arena of victory is heaven. Luke expresses it in Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me — the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.”

Paul expresses it in Philippians 3:13-14, “Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Now that’s what I really call running for the gold. (a thought on life from John Grant )

2008-08-17T07:14:00.000-07:00

2008-08-15T06:55:00.000-07:00

There are days, there are moments when we feel unsure.
I wish we could believe in our Father's grace.
All we need is a little faith, believe what He can do..
we need you Lord - there are days...

This is the day, this is the moment.
So forget about your past & move ahead.
For the Lord is with us He'll never leave us.
He's our tower of refuge & strength.

There are days, there are moment when i feel so sad.
I wish i could take back all our yesterdays.
Spend more time to tell you how much you mean to me.
I need you - there are days.

There are days, there are moments when I'm so confused

I wish you'd hear the things that i have to say
All the change I'm going through, why cant you understand.
I need you - there are days.

This is the day, this is the moment.
So forget about your past & look ahead.
Set your eyes on Him, He'll see you through.
In His time He'll make all things beautiful.

There are days, there are moments when I'm so alone.
I wish You could be here to show the way
All the times, I've turned from You & gone so far astray.
I need you Lord - there are days.

This is the day, this is the moment.
He'll be there to see you through your darkest hour.
Set your eyes on Him and see His love shine through.
Believe the Father has the best in store for you.

This is the day
This is the moment
I can hear His mighty voice whisper to me.
Just believe my child & you'll see
I will raise you up to claim the victory.

2008-08-14T08:28:00.000-07:00

Lord, I cant move on.
I cant move on bcos of my past.

There are so many times, I wish I can let go & move on with my life. Though with tears.
But, Lord, i cant. I seriously cant.

It hurts me. It pains me. It irritates me.

I wish, I can just take a break & be left alone at some island.
To leave all behind.
To get back to the past & then restart my life again.

Lord, I am so tired. So tired of trying to pick myself up again & again.

And Lord, I am feeling so insecure now.
Feeling so lousy about everything.

I feel so routinised doing everything.

I need a decent break. I need to go and do the things that I want to do NOW.
I need to learn to let go & let God.

And Lord, when can I have a break through??

Sigh....

Sentosa 10th August 2008 - Walton International

2008-08-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

Walton's family gathering organised by Bill Doherty! :)
I love Walton, cos they emphasized a lot on family bonding - natural family, working family & consultants & clients!

There are lots of nice food! Fireworks, drinks, games, water spraying, colleagues catching up & getting to know one anothers' family.

the 5 of us went to play LUGE! It's so so fun! My first virgin try :)

Night LUGE was even more exciting...woohoowhoooo!!

safetly?!!?! HACK CARE LA!
when you are down there, by instinct, you will know what to do :)

oh ya...btw, we waited fo 40mins for that 5mins of LUGE ride.... :(
Good things dont come easy. Easy things that come, wont be good!

Ms. Adeline See, who always love to "Zhi Pai" - Self posing. Bleah! :)

more MORE photos!

2008-08-07T10:15:00.000-07:00

Miss. Yap loves the scenic & ambience where she could have the peace & serenity of the nature....to leave the world behind!

Doctor kevin...haha....whom everyone says he is is 'Doctor Quek!" HAHA.
LIposuction anybody? I can intro you to him! :)

YSL team ppl :) with the famous NANTA today's bridegroom!

2 pretty chicks on the pavement! buy 1 get 1 free?? HAHA.
You WLL.

For once...i really think she is acting too cute. HAHA.

Black Cap: Adeline
Sunglass: Brenda
White cap: Ernest Wife
Left over: WENJING!!!
4 of them are damn fun ppl to hang out :)

The man with sunglass is Mr. Gerard Foo, MD of Walton Spore!

Miss. Yap acting cute....haha...esp when she is totally disgusted with the inedible food & super noisy drums.
But oh well! she enjoy the performance though :)

Amen Sister sitting in the praying room to experience the spiritual realm!

Amen sister at the door of this praying room among the woods :)

Others colleagues photos! :)

2008-08-07T10:01:00.000-07:00

Felicia the always HIGH & madly in love with photographer "June" babe!

My roomie & my little sweetie darling! :)

Queenie the super seh & attitude babe.

I love marcelly! this was taken the next day after she had a dozen of drinks & literally having hang over at the breakfast table...haha...isnt she cute??? :)

My damn funny Tour guide: Annie!
She is seriously So confident, so cocky, so funny, yet so nice!
OH...sapphire is missing her lotsss!!

The lucky Boonk was selected to perform on stage! best thing is...if you search the NANTA website, this photo is uploaded!!!! UNFAIR!! :(

Boss AHK, Josephine, Andy & Jason! Going down to our next destination in the amusement park!

3 funny chicks! Lee Hin, Felicia & Queenie! :)
After a mass NAKED & swim-suit session!
Alrights, none of these girls went naked. BUT i did went for the naked pool, it was fun fun fun!!

HAHA. My greatly blessed, deeply loved & highly favoured Sister!!!! I love her mans..haha, she is damn cock.

My desperadooooooo guys colleagues. BIG BOO BOO!!!! :(

me & other babes & hunks photos! :)

2008-08-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

Me & Thomas taking some Korean photos :)

Me & Phoebe taking some korean photos :)

me & Cheeky, Handsome & Super Playful Boonk!!! :)

Ops....do you remember "him"?

Me & Miss. Ann Hock Kee (Shopaholic freak) taking photos after the SUPER NICE NANTA SHOW!!!!! I so wanna watch it again!!! Ohhhh~~~

Me & Dora at the everland park! Some stupid amusement park...haha.

Me & BeautiFOO felicia! :)

Me & my super cool Ms. Queenie :) I think she is damn "seh" & "attitude" & "cool" mans!
I LIKE :)

Me & the always super patterned marcelly :) HAHA.
She is a real babe, damn cute & entertaining! HOliday-ing is boring without her presence!

Marcelly, me & LeeHin! At some "kim chi" making session school!

My personal Photos in Korea :)

2008-08-07T09:43:00.000-07:00

We visited the world's largest church which is in South Korea...
This is the place for the ppl to pray & fast..

1st day on the bus...i was so shag & boliaos that i started "zi pai"....and i tot, i look cool! :) HAHA.

For once..i look demure enuff.. HAHA. Can "smoke" ppl liaos.

Standing in front of a praying room...for ppl to pray & fast again...

Pretty cool to take photos in front of mirror...

This is my favourite photo.

2008-08-05T19:26:00.001-07:00

Sapphire is back from Korea, tired & tired.
Not recharged at all mans.

Sigh...all my overseas trip are totally shagged out, except my Batam View (Sea, Sun, Sand & Seafood).

OKAYYYSSS....Sapphire please get back to work, get back to your momentum & let the God multiply your 5loaves & 2fishes..

2008-07-29T07:52:00.000-07:00

And so I think God is very amusing lately.
He has been allowing my clients' to cancel my appts.....meetg me up with very interesting ppl...& bringing my deals that i didnt expect.

Postpone my meeting, so that I can attend my Leaders' meeting tml at TCT....
He is such an interesting God...arent He???

And more interesting..lately, He has allowed me to focus a lot on "building & investing" in solid relationships.
Relationships with existing clients, with prospects, church frds & colleagues...

And so i Met this very interesting prospect of mine on mon night.
we met for about 2.5hrs & chatting nothing abt landbanking, but everything abt Jesus & His awesome love...
She was truly inspiring & i felt that God sent her to me for a reason.
even though she may not be investing, but i thank God, cos i have found such a lovely gift - that is her.

she is definitely someone who can speak to me, bcos i felt i am very similar to her...
& most imptly, she won my respect.

she taught me a lot & quite a few things struck me till now...
(1) Abraham obeyed God & sacrified Issac, because he has a good opinion of God. He knows God's character & His heart. He knows that even if God sacrificed Issac, He will still raise him up from the dead..
(2) John always boast abt Jesus' Love for him...only in the chapter of John, you can find this phrase beloved discipline of God....the disciple whom God most loved etc etc...
While, Peter - the one who denied Jesus - was always boasting abt his love for Jesus...
This is such an irony...
it totally struck me..when she mentioned that we need to boast abt God's love for us...to be very secured in Him..& know my identity & position in God's heart...
(3) Finally, God used her to remind me of 2 very simple truth.... (a) God loves all of us. equally. but differently... (b) Pruning is painful, but it is absolutely neccessary..bcos that's the only way to grow closer to Him...just like the pruned vine grew higher towards the sky...

and in my spirit today...i know i felt very different...bcos' i dwelled in His love for me.